Kobold Cabana
(Dirkk' challenges Biklik at a karaoke bar. Unfortunately, it was a kobold bar, so it didn't go well for him. to the tune of Barry Manilow's "Copacabana")
"His name was Biklik, he was a tyrant
With my little brother S'kkip, who was a sycophantic drip
He has a weasel, who's name was Bitie
And while he tried to rule the planes, it was clear he was insane
He lived on the 6th floor, behind a death trapped door
He was vile and he was wicked
Who could ask for more?
At the Kobold, Kobold Cabana
The hottest spot under Cormyr, ya
At the Kobold, Kobold Cabana
Kobolds and Drow elves all fighting 'mongst themselves
At the Kobold... it ends in blood
His name was Chops-to-Bits, he was a half-orc
Everyone thought that he was dumb, just sitting on his thumb
But then when Biklik, took over the club
Avoids assassins, he was deft, but there's a half an hour left
And so then Chops-to-Bits, he proves that he has wits
He got to work and called up Dirkk'
Because he is the shit
At the Kobold, Kobold Cabana
In a village way beneath Cormyr, ya
At the Kobold, Kobold Cabana
Music and passion, and kobold's get thrashin'
At the kobold... It ends in blood
His name was Biklik, he was a tyrant
But that was ten minutes ago, It's now Dirkk' who runs the show
It's Brother Chops-to-Bits, no longer Biklik
He'll want some proof the kobold's dead, so I'll be bringing back his head
Don't worry, won't last long, I know you're not that strong
I'll end it quickly, I'll get to it
When I finish up my song
At the Kobold, Kobold Cabana
Gods damn, no good rhymes for Cabana
At the Kobold, Kobold Cabana
Violence with kobolds, this plot just gets snowballed
At the Kobold... It ends in blood
It ends in blood."