Grow a Spine
(to the tune of "Be Our Guest" from Disney's "Beauty and the Beast")
(This song was written by Xizlqk's player (even the part Kara sings), as a way of telling off Niazan, a perpetually self-pitying PC --here being NPC'd by me after the original player had left the game. It's especially amusing, because Xizlqk is singing via telepathy)
Xizlqk: Mon frere Niazan,
it is with utmost sarcasm and deepest disdain
that I chastise you tonight.
And now I invite you to relax, and let
us pull you up a stool as we proudly present-
your musical number!
Grow a spine,
Grow a spine
You will find that it's divine
Straighten up and puff your chest Nizzy
It's really for the best
Be a man
And you're see
Your life will be filled with glee
Loyal friends and pretty women
And in money you'll be swimmin'
Here and now
Here's your chance
Show these girls who wears the pants
And you'll never settle for the second best
Go on, and drop that joint
And listen to my point and
Grow a spine
Yes a spine
Grow a spine
First things first
Do this right
You've been totally the worst
'pologize and realize
You've been a total freaking jerk
You're alone
And you're scared
But who cares? Grow a pair!
It's not simple or demanding
Are you close to understanding?
Not a joke
Not a trick
Smarten up don't be a dick
Girls: And it's such a welcome change
That you can bet
All: Come on now for romance!
The is your one good chance
To Grow a spine
Xizlqk: You depressed?
Be decisive, I suggest!
All: Grow a spine
Grow a spine
Grow a spine
Xizlqk: Life is gray and chillful
For a person who's unwillful
Without verve, and without swerve and without joy.
Ah, those good old days when you had purpose!
Suddenly those good old days are gone
Five months you've been smoking
But you've got to quit the toking
You need practice for your charismatic skills
Most days you must lay around the smokehouse
Wishy-washy and depressed
Now it's time to do your best
It's about this point that Kara, surprisingly enough, joins in.
Kara: Yes, a spine
Yes a spine
At first I thought you were mine
Now today, my "fiancee"
I'll have you know that things are fine
I don't need
More true love
Because really, stars above!
Romance has been quite a downer
But I'm not the biggest frowner.
But enough
About me
Be all that you claim to be
We want change! Or at the least a hopeful sign!
Now take a risk or two
You've got a lot to do
For your new spine!
Chorus: He needs spine,
Kara: He needs spine,
Chorus: He needs spine!
Grow a spine
Grow a spine
Don't you think it's about time?
It's five months since you've been here
But we've been oh-so fine
It's your mind
Ain't it strange.
That we now intend to change
While the candlelight's still glowing
Help us help you
I'll keep going!
Make your will
Firmly moored
'Til you shout, "Enough! I'm cured!"
Then we'll let you off the hook as you proceed
Tonight you sit there high
But you'll grow up-or die, now
Grow a spine!