College for
Warlocks
The Program: Sigil Prep's Warlock training stands among the best in several planes. Students must sign a binding document either with some devils, a bunch of fairies, or Things from Beyond the Stars (tm), but this is just a formality. Your soul still belongs to Dean Shemeska... to you. Your soul still belongs to you. Obviously.
All students begin with a freshman level Eldritch Blast course. Other training is based on the pact you signed during orientation. Wide ranges of opportunity await, from learning to lie better, to sending people straight to Hell. (The administration frowns on sending people straight to Hell.)
The school will supply freshmen students with a rod. Don't snicker.
"The program grants me everything I could possibly want. The chance to suck up to powerful fiendish forces, the chance to suck up to a wide range of gifted professors, and come Junior year... a band of brainless minions to suck up to me." --Tatiana Flameworthy, freshman Human Warlock
"One thing we are absolutely not good at, it's lying. No, sir. We warlocks do not lie very well at all, nope, nope, nope. You look beautiful today, by the way." --Charvox 'the Charming', sophomore Half-Elf Warlock
"Bad enough with her tiny skirts and her too-small tops, but Kailey has definitely pushed the envelope now that she's pulling that 'Fey Switch' crap, and suddenly she's in the coach with my one night stand, and I'm back in the bar with frickin' Hennet." --Maddie Weber, junior Drow Cleric
WARLOCK UPPERCLASSMAN MAJOR EMPHASIS
Darkwalker: There are dangerous, terrible things in the Underdark, which dedicated Warlocks can make deals with. Just take the stairs down from the Morthos Building, hang a left at the piercer patch, pay the troll for passage through the Bridge of Hathor, and pay fealty at the base of the Cave of Shar's Fear. Ask for Simon.
"I don't know... much about Warlocks or... how this discipline prepares you for... adventuring. I do know, however, that it prepares you well for Saturday night Poetry Slam at the coffee shop" --Kazerobet, junior Human Necromancer
Doomsayer: Say it with me, "Doom!" Again. "Dooooooommm!!!" Now pound your fist while you say it. "DOOOOOM!!!" Now try saying this: "Curse you, Richards!"
"What the hell was that all about? This is a precog major." --Kailey, junior Tiefling Warlock
Evermeet Warlock: Of course I've met a warlock! Ha!
"Okay! Who let Nebin in the editing room?" --Dora Do'Urden, junior Drow Wizard and course catalogue editor
Feytouched: Sign yet another pact with the Fey, and they'll teach you even more secrets. This department is overseen by the legendary Oberon, although if you want to take courses directly from him, you have to sign up for off-campus learning. He's not exactly welcome in Sigil.
"Hey, baby. I'll give you some fey touching" *eyebrow waggle* --Kel, sophomore Pixie pervert
Life-Stealer: Learn to make use of the life force of others. We would like to define the difference between this and stealing people's souls. We'd like to, but we can't. (The Administration discourages the stealing of other students' souls).
"Oh, this spark was your brother? Hmm, well, I guess I could trade for it. Got any points left on your meal plan?" --Tatiana Flameworthy