Residential Campus East
"Tally ho, and well met, future freshmen! Glorious greetings to one and all. I am your most gracious host for this journey through our underclassmen residential campus, the Crimson Lotus, champion of justice and masked avenger of the underprivileged and... Eh? Oh, while I am certain the Baron Deneith's daughter is both beauteous and courageous, I fear I know her only by reputation. Ah, but such vivid imagination you have to connect her to me.
"Tis my humble duty to show you the lay of the land, and perchance, to entice those among you yet undecided to our reputed academy. We start out journey at Aasimar Hall, where mayhap a number of you are staying this weekend. A small but comfortable dormitory wherein stay the school's guests, such as potential freshmen on their first tours of the campus. Also, honored guests of the school, mayhap a visiting professor or guest lecturer, or e'en your esteemed parents, should they come to visit. Some spillover from housing may also be placed here, which dost have advantages inasmuch as the dorm is less crowded and the rooms are large. Ah, but woe unto thee, for the laundry facilities are dreadfully underrepresented.
"The standard freshmen dormitories follow. Under the new educational policies, most of the dorms have been redesigned, such that instead of individual rooms with two bunks, their instead are small suites of four single bedrooms and a commons area. Ideally, Dean Roper assigns suites such that each contains a leader, striker, defender, and controller, thus encouraging roommates to adventure together. This seldom works out though, for Roper hates work, and assigns rooms based on what page his book is open to.
"Azer Dorm is important, for it is the dorm where I, myself, spent my freshman year, and made many friends. My twin sister and I... coincidentally, as this Anissa Deneith you mentioned earlier dost also have a twin sister, but that is sheer happenstance, I assure... have made friends for life here. It is one of the smallest dorms, but welcoming. The lounge on the fifth floor, despite having a notably hostile soda machine, is a hangout for many around campus, even if they no longer dwell in this dorm.
"There is also Quasit Dorm, wide and lower to the ground, but it has six floors below ground level, and is the only freshman dorm with an indoor swimming pool.
"Ah! But why Quasit Dorm, and not Triton Dorm, whose very name does conjure images of natatoriums? Ah, the naming of buildings is a mystery ne'er to be uncovered by the likes of mere mortals. Instead, Triton Dorm is far the most posh of all Freshmen dorms, having had suites well afore that was the norm. Applying for Triton Dorm may add near five thousand gold to one's tuition, although Roper may well arbitrarily assign one here for no extra charge.
"Lastly, there is Barghest Dorm, largest and oldest of the freshmen dorms. Of'times o'ercrowded, as as freshmen must live on campus, and this thirty story eyesore has the most closets. Ah, but Barghest has tradition, history, and a disproportionate number of the goblin students.
"Journey with me now to the Sophomore dorms. Often nicer, with a better chance that the heat works. This L-shaped building is Succubus Dorm. Note the glass walls in the stairwells, and... what the sophomores do in there. Ah, but let not the carnal lusts of sophomore-kind dissuade you from considering our fair school... and I see it is not.
"Kyton Hall is another dormitory. And believe me, there are many. This one has a gym in the basement, where the Crimson Lotus has spent much time honing her daring acrobatic skills. 'Tis largest of the sophomore dorms, holding near half a thousand students.
"And here is Lillend Hall, a fine dormitory as well. The tower is connected by a small antebuilding to Bralani Hall, it's sister tower. On days of yore, Lillend was a girls' dorm, and bralani for the male of the species, but in more enlightened times, both are co-educational. Since Roper has been in charge of housing, if I'm not mistaken, since he knows little, and cares less, of the finer aspects of mammalian breeding.
"Avoral Dorm here is a dorm which contains both sophomore and junior students. Thanks in large part to Lidda's inhabitance, it is also highly trap laden.
"The final dormitory on this part of campus is Vrock Dorm, which also has a mix of sophomore and junior students. Vrock has a small Hall of Portals, not as encompassing as the one in the Administration Building, but suitable for brief jumps to Waterdeep, Greyhawk City, or Sharn. It also has the largest array of snack machines on campus, and not a one bearing the hostility of Azer Dorm's.
"Ah, and here we have the White Campus Bookstore, name unchanged despite the fact that we no longer use the term 'White Campus' to refer to Freshmen residential. It sells the books for freshmen level classes, and many souvenir items. A warning, though, friends. Though it sits 'pon campus soil, it is privately owned, and your scholarship may not cover purchases here.
"The underclassman campus does have eight full-sized tennis courts and a fine 18-hole golf course for those who enjoy great sport. And don't we all, eh? *wink*
"But lest I forget, here also is Tasselhoff's, a small grill for burgers, hot dogs, and curly fries, fine fare for mighty warriors. 'Tis all prefabricated constructions, the same quality which may be had from a two copper TV dinner, but they accept your meal card, which makes it, if not satisfying, very cheap.
"And finally, here be Paizo's Pizza, the home of flat and sauceless pizza which will deliver to any dorm on campus, though if you ask my honest opinion, and well you should, there is no substitute for the journey into town, to partake of Odo's fine pizzas. Paizo's, however, accepts your meal plan.
"Fare the well, my brave friends, and please, continue the tour to the upperclassmen residential campus. For myself, derring do awaits, and so I must off! Away!"