College of
Rangers
The Program: Sigil Prep's exclusive ranger program allows students to learn either kick-butt two-weapon techniques, or kicker-butter archery techniques. Emphasis on mobility, direct damage, ambushes, and hunting. Many of our students are offered jobs as guides and scouts directly upon graduation.
While many of our ranger students continue to study in outdoor settings, living in trees and surviving off grubs and moss, many others now study in the dungeon, living in abandoned rooms with the carcasses of the monsters they just killed, and surviving off grubs and moss.
Freshmen may choose Nature 101, or Dungeoneering 101. Bows and/or off-hand weapons must be supplied by the student.
"Wait, wait, no favored enemy? But that throws off my whole raison d'etre." --Yffub, the Ranger Who Has Chosen Undead as Her Favored Enemy, sophomore Human Ranger
"Oooooh... I don't get an off-hand weapon if I'm using a bow. That explains a lot. I'm sure the infirmary can remove that..." --Dustin, freshman Human Ranger
"Yah, those guys are really cool. Rugged and hardy and living off the land. Tall and stoic and hardened and... and um, with moss on their butts and... oh, wait. I think I'm thinking about trees." --Vadania, senior Elf Druid
RANGER UPPERLASSMAN MAJOR EMPHASIS
Avalanche Hurler: The Avalanche Hurler program. Also known as our award winning Dodgeball team. If you can throw a handaxe, you can throw a ball. If you can throw a dagger, you can throw a ball. Screw dodging. Just get them first.
"Ooo, throwing deadliness..." --Lidda, halfling crazy girl. "No, honey, it's just for Rangers" --Naull, brushing the multiclass feats list under the bed.
Battlefield Archer: Improve your archery to unparalleled levels. Learn to discern trajectories so you can make your most accurate shots against multiple enemies at a time. Get free arrows directly from the school.
"Yep, that was six targets dropped in one round. Think that's impressive? I did the last three with my string broken." --Serina d'Deneith, sophomore Human Ranger
Beast Stalker: Hunting the way hunting was meant to be. Be a manly man. Bring down boars and bears, manticores and wyverns, with the same ease you might bring down a deer. According to some flavor text in the textbook, you could also make 'You are my prey' comments to them, but bears don't care about your posturing.
"So I guess I could be 'Yffub, the Ranger Who Has Chosen Magical Beasts as Her Favored Enemy, but it lacks the panache." --Yffub, sophomore Human Ranger
Blade Banshee: Yes, it is, in fact, a martial program with a mind-control power. It is only open to Eladrin, which should give you an indication of our awesome. We stab you with our swords and you obey our will, and if we're tired of your service, we just blow you up. I'd like to see a pitiful Drow do that...
"There is now an opening in the course catalog offices. Bring applications to the Greyhawk Building, room 717." --Dora do'Urden, Drow course catalog editor
Blade Dancer: For the seventeenth year in a row, the Blade Dancer program's year-end production will be West Side Story. If anyone else can find a musical with a big dancing fight scene, please contact the Dean.
"I've got rhythm, I've got music, I've got light blades, who can ask for anything more" --Jen'kelly, sophomore halfling Ranger
Blade of Cendraine: *Bamf* *Bamf!* *bamf, bamf, bamf, bamf, bamf* *BAMF!*
"Hmph. Terrible little eladrin nuisances, teleporting about. Like bipedal blink dogs, those. But not as tasty." --Mith'gla'ka'nar'rith'shanniar, displacer beast alumnus
Feral Spirit: Raised by wolves? Life saved by great apes? Befriended a baby stegosaurus in the lost jungle? Got a singing bear buddy whose antics are generally looked on disdainfully by his black panther domestic partner? Here's a class you can take with your animal companion, and at the end of your senior year, you both get diplomas.
"Jarna enjoy take Feral Spirit classes, but not understand why Professor call her 'Jane'." --Jarna the Jungle Girl, sophomore Human Ranger
Hellborn Shadow: Hey, Kailey here. I'd like to cut in and protest all this 'Hell' crap. Why can't we tieflings have a program or a course study that isn't designed to remind us that grandaddy was a bone devil? They all start with 'you aren't necessarily evil but', and then go on to rub in the whole ties-to-Hell schtick until there's no question about it. Well, listen up, bubs! You want to keep me as your representative sorcerer, let's see a three hour course for tielfings about sunshine and bunnies. Not that I'd take that crap, but at least make the offer, huh?
"What Kailey really wants is a paragon path that lets her make fun of poor people's shoes more efficiently." --Maddie Weber, senior Drow cleric
High Forest Scout: The woods are yours. You can move like no one else, you know the paths and the inhabitants like no one else. You are devoted to ridding the forest of the dangers that do not belong, while being perfectly fine with the dangers that do belong. Sound like you? Then sign up for High Forest Scout.
"Whuh? Oh... Ooooohhhh... 'High Forest', like the region of Faerun. Yeah, I was thinking of something else." --Vadania, junior Elf Druid
Horizon Walker: With numerous field trips, often six a day, you learn all about the planes. Such important survival tips as: what sunblock to take to the Elemental Chaos; where can I get Astral Seasick pills?; where in The World is Carmen Sandiego? Free copies of new Volo's Guides as they come out.
"I've been to the desert on a horse with no name, it felt good to be out of the rain, in the desert you can remember your name... Not your horse's name, though, which is weird." --Mingxing, junior human Ranger
Impilturan Demonslayer: You do not have to be Impilturan, but you do have to hate demons. Demons are a plague upon the land, and in three years of intensive class study, you can learn to slay them. Twice-a-semester field trips to the Abyss for practical experience.
"Hey, hey! Look at the papers, buddy, I'm a devil now. Get out of my face." --Brianna, senior succubus cheerleader
Pack Runner: Really, we just cribbed the dog training course from the community college and gave it a fancier name.
"Sometime Jarna wishes she had wolf companion, rather than leopard. Wolf run like wind, love to hunt, but also love to play. But you know, Jarna raised by leopards. Mommy not accept me and wolf. Unless maybe wolf is doctor." --Jarna the Jungle Girl, sophomore human Ranger
Pathfinder: The course for Rangers who want to focus on trailblazing, tracking, and... pathfinding, yes. Find the right path, and help your enemies find the wrong path. Mostly, you do this by hitting things, but, sure...
"I think it's on Hickman, Soveliss. No, I'm sure it's on... can we stop for directions, at least? Cuthbert on a cracker, Soveliss, would it kill you to use a map!?" --Jozan, senior Human Cleric
Ruthless Punisher: Humans. The most dangerous game. Oh, and Elves, Dwarves, Gnolls... Anything that has higher reasoning powers, and stands upright. More dangerous than mere beasts, because Man (and Elf and etc) has the capacity to think. It becomes less a hunt, and more a battle of wills. Arguably, you could say dragons are more dangerous than Men, but... hell if I'm going to fight a dragon by myself.
"Look, my family was blown away in the crossfire by warring mobs while we were having a peaceful picnic, too. But sometimes you just have to pick up the pieces of your life and let it go, man." --Ernest Palace, not a Ruthless Punisher
Sharpshooter: The... *thunk* The... *thunk* theshaprhsot... *thunk* STOP SHOOTING THE PEN OUT OF MY HAND!
"That thing! That thing where Legolas stabs the guy with the arrow, then pulls it out while notching it in his bow all in one motion, then shoots the arrow! That thing! I can do that!!!!" --Soveliss, excited Elf Ranger
Stormwarden: The Stormwarden program teaches the ancient ways of the wilderness of the Feywild. You learn powerful, and frightening attacks which resemble the roiling storms. Fierce and rapid melee attacks that simulate the movement of the stormwinds. Piercing blows that fall like stinging rain. Oh, and you shoot actual lightning.
"Okay, Dustin, I know those Kara-Turan comic books are cool, but those techniques are tricky enough with sword and dagger. You cannot dual-wield two greatswords. I'm not reattaching your head again." --Melina, senior Human Cleric and infirmary volunteer.
Sylvan Archer: For elves, archery is a way of life, as natural as walking or hugging trees. I guess what we're saying here is, if you aren't an elf, you really can't learn this kind of stuff, so don't bother signing up.
"So, yeah, I saw this Mythbruisers on the Astral Net and they showed how it's actually impossible to split one arrow in twain with another arrow because the physics of it..." *thuck* "Never mind" --Gimble, junior Gnome Bard
Wildcat Stalker: Okay, to clarify, you are a stalker with a wildcat. You are not stalking wildcats! If Jarna comes to us again with infirmary bills for her leopard, it's being added to your tuition, bucko.
"I'm not trying to discourage you, but you might want to wait until your kitten gains four or five pounds before you start training Mittens to be a fierce attack animal." --Dove Falconhand, Dean of Ranger. "mew" --Mittens
RANGER GRADUATE COURSES
Beastlord: You and your animal companion undergo obedience training together. Before long, you are of one mind, one thought, one action. You both wear shock collars, and we'll take a rolled up newspaper to you if you mouth off about it. Before long, your wolf is giving you nummy treats if you roll over and beg.
"Wasn't 'Beastlord' the classification for semi-godlike beings of the Happy Hunting Ground? I mean, the Beastlands... wait, are there still Beastlands? I haven't figured out the new curriculum yet..." --Nigel, sophomore Human Bard