The Puppeteer Show!
(Nick Kahoshi from the WotC boards came up with a Puppeteer class, and asked me to do a Sigil Prep write-up for it. This happened a few times on the Classes of Sigil Prep thread, but this is the only one that was a song parody.)
(To "The Muppet Show Theme")
PUPPETEER
The Program: "Instead of a descriptive paragraph, I have decided to
introduce my chosen major with this short presentation. Ahem..." --Neth Lunar,
3rd year human Puppeteer
(Stacatto, upbeat music, as puppets dance into range.)
Male puppets: "It's time to craft some puppets
And give them pseudo-life
It's time freak your enemies
With the Puppeteer class, tonight"
Female puppets: "It's time to grant them powers
And see things through their eyes
And give small children nightmares
With the Puppeteer class, tonight."
Creepy knife puppet: "He'll kill you from a
distance..."
Creepy drill puppet: "With tiny wooden dolls..."
Creepy knife puppet: "Submitting you to torture..."
Both: "With psionically bound thralls..."
Frog-shaped puppet: "And now you've seen our major..."
Neth Lunar: "Why don't you join our major?"
All puppets: "You all should join our major,
With the most shenanigans, psionic mannikins, somewhat frightenin', weapons
built right in...
This is what we call the Puppeteer!"
(Weird shaped puppet plays a flat trumpet note)
"..." --Maddie Weber, 3rd year Drow cleric
*blink, blink, blink* --Regdar, 5th year human fighter
"Uh... 'kay..." --Mialee, 5th year elf wizard