(to the tune of J. Geils Band's "Centerfold")
Does she pray, does she bless,
Does she turn undead?
My T.A., T.A. paladin just turns me on my head
She was pure as archons, no one could cause to fall
The memory of my paladin who felt Heironeous' call...
Years go by, I'm looking for her on the Astralnet
And there's my lovely paladin, all oiled up and wet
My blood runs cold, my memory has just been sold
My paladin is a centerfold
My blood runs cold, her atonement is a hundredfold
My paladin is a centerfold
Laid on hands, made me blessed
While I was thinking about her dress
I was shy, I turned away
Before she caught my eye
I knew Heironeous was her lord
Whenever she flashed her holy sword
I always knew I had no fear
When my paladin was close by
That hard shapely plate mail
Her AC's hard to touch
To see her on the Astralnet was really just too much
My blood runs cold, she did it while she's drunk I'm told
My paladin is a centerfold
My blood runs cold, wonder how much stuff she rolled
My paladin is a centerfold
It's okay, I guess she's weak
I know this ain't Celestia's peak
I hope that when the pervs are gone, I'll see you with your armor on
Take your mount, yes we will
We'll take your mount, and ride it
Take it to a motel room, where I'll mount you in private
A part of me has just been ripped
My purity of soul is stripped
And once we have our moment
We'll both go on a quest for atonement
My blood runs cold, my god this song is getting old
My paladin is a centerfold
My blood runs cold, it's worth giving up 90% of your gold
My paladin is a centerfold
Na na na na na na, na na na na na na (oh forget it...)