Nine Hells
(This song is the portal key to a portal to Fierna's layer of Hell; to the tune of Petula Clark's "Downtown")
"When you're a fiend
And you're subtype lawful evil
You should always go: Nine Hells
When you cause temptation,
Commit evisceration
Seems to help, I know: Nine Hells
Just listen to the Blood Wars
'Twixt the devils and the demons
Hear voices by the river Styx
Of dead, tormented seamen
How can you lose?
The torture and fire and noise
You'll be chained up for the afterlife
Forget all your joys and go
Nine Hells, things'll be miserable
Nine Hells, your soul is combustible
Nine Hells, everything's waiting for you
(Nine Hells, Nine Hells)
Don't hang around
And let the pit fiends surround you
There's an Iron Tower: Nine Hells
Hell Hounds may eat you
If the Kythons don't beat you
You'll be in their power: Nine Hells
Just listen to the arguments of Mammon and Dispater
Drop in on Fierna, and I know you're going to hate her
Terrors arise
The pits are much deeper there
The fire leaps to the heavens
You suffer too much to care, you're in
Nine Hells, I hate the hellfire bees
Nine Hells, and musical portal keys
Nine Hells, and there's a tango part now
(Nine Hells, Nine Hells)"
She grabs Vander and leads him throw a quick salsa dance during the musical
break.
"So maybe I'll just drop in
And toilet paper Fierna; Hell nothing's a sin
In the Nine Hells, things'll be horrible
Nine Hells, downright unendurable
Nine Hells, the portal is opening now
(Nine Hells, Nine Hells, Nine Hells)"
The echoes repeat, until Vander and Maddie find themselves in Hell, right
outside of a palace of jagged obsidian.